Compassionate Friends

As many of you are aware, I have been attending a support group called The Compassionate Friends since Toni died. Hailey Mum and Nikki have all been along to meetings with me, and Mum still attends the meetings regularly.

They have asked me to write an artical for their upcoming newsletter. I began writing a few nights ago but am stuck!! how do you put so much into One Article!

I have been missing Toni so Much lately, More than usual anyway. I saw a double rainbow. I looked at it and the song over the rainbow popped in my head... then Toni saying to me one Winter day - "Mummy its a rainbows shadow"

Some of the things, I have done in the past few years, that Toni would have adored... Travelling across Sydney Harbour on the Ferry, taking photos of the opera house, she said it looked like a porky-pine (thats how she said it lol)

So here is what I have written so far...

I lost my daughter Toni, 1 month before her 4th birthday. Toni wasn’t sick. She was a healthy, happy, energetic girly-girl who had the world at her feet.

Toni was taken from me in a flash! Taken by a tragic accident. It happened so quickly with no time for any goodbyes.

Toni died in a car accident. An accident that happened 200 metres from her home. It was a relatively minor accident, with no one else suffering any injuries. Not even Toni’s 5 day old brother.

People often die in car accidents because they don’t ‘buckle up’. So you can imagine my distress, as a parent, to be told that it was indeed the seatbelt Toni was wearing that took her life. The one safety appliance that millions of people around Australia, and billions of people around the world put their trust in every day to keep their selves and their children safe.

Toni was wearing the type of seatbelt that was recommended for her age. When Toni died in 1999, the recommended restraint for her age was the adult seatbelt in the back seat of the car. Toni suffered from ‘Impact Chest Injuries’. Her seat belt did not fit her size. We put our trust in following the Australian Road Rules and they failed us!

Toni fought for her life, when she couldn’t fight for herself anymore, the doctors fought to save her life. When they had done all they could, I swore I would continue to fight for Toni. At the time, how, didn’t even enter my mind. I just knew I needed to do something. It took over 7 years for me to realise what I needed to do.

In December 2006, I was drawn to a story about a little 3 & a half year old girl, Isabelle who died in similar circumstances to what had happened to Toni. I contacted the parents of ‘Belle’, and offered my support. I discovered that Isabelle also died in a minor car accident because she was wearing an ‘Adult Seatbelt’.

Together we began, researching the seatbelts and child restraints available and recommended by Australian Standards. I could not believe that children over 12 months could legally sit in an adult seatbelt. A seat belt that was designed for adults!

Upon further investigation, I discovered that 80 % of Australian children were inappropriately restrained. I also discovered that parents just like me, were uninformed about child restraints, and which one was the most suitable restraint for each child.

At the time of researching child restraints, I found that a baby should be restrained in a capsule until 9 kilos. Most parents ‘turned’ their baby forward facing as soon as they could. Some sort of accomplishment!

Thats kinda where I lost all enthusiasm...... I will need to continue but for now, I just can't...